A Yami's Guide to Driving Your Aibou Crazy
by Riana Mustang
Summary: Yami Bakura and his partner in crime Iris (Aisling's Yami) come up with a guide on how to drive their Aibous to the brink of insanity. And FYI, Aisling is Seto and Mokuba's sister, and Iris is Yami's daughter...::thinks to self...interesting combination..
1. Intro to Insanity

A Yami's Guide to Driving Your Aibou Crazy  
Author: Aisling Kaiba (formerly Celestia Vitaria and also Silverwolfprincess)  
Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. Never have, never will. ::sobs:: So don't sue, ok? You won't get anything of value anyway. I have some of the cards and a few eppies that I taped off of the WB, but that's about it. Oh, and the cd that just came out, too. But they're MINE!!! MWA HA HA HA!!!!! (Starts laughing maniacally ala Y.Bakura). Iris, Aisling, and the Millenium Star are mine though.  
Summary: Just a bit of insanity inspired by Neko-chan's fic "Bakura's Guide to Fighting...Dirty." So some of the credit for this goes out to Neko-chan. I suggest you go read that one too, as well as my other fics and the ones written by my friends Bluefire and SuchDarkness. The Pheonix's fics should be up soon, but I can't say when. ^__^ Oops, back to what I was saying...Yami Bakura and his partner in crime Iris (Aisling's Yami) come up with a guide on how to drive their Aibous to the brink of insanity. And FYI, Aisling is Seto and Mokuba's sister, and Iris is Yami's daughter...::thinks to self...interesting combination...tomb-robber+Egyptian princess=utter chaos.:: Ok, I'll shut up now. Onto the fic!  
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A Yami's Guide to Driving Your Aibou Crazy  
  
Ryou=Ryou Bakura  
Bakura=Yami Bakura  
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::Intro:: (From Iris' POV)  
  
Hello, and welcome to A Yami's Guide to Driving Your Aibou Crazy. Bakura and I were bored, so we decided to write a guide on torturing your Aibou. Of course, certain Aibous who shall remain nameless will probably get pissed off at us for this and try to kick our asses or yell at us, but hey, even Yamis have to have at least a little fun sometimes, even if it is at the expense of their Hikaris. And now, without further ado, we give you A Yami's Guide to Driving Your Aibou Crazy!!!  
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Sorry this part is so short. It's just the intro. I promise, there'll be hilarious insanity in the next chappies. This is my first attempt at a Yu-Gi-Oh fic, so please be gentle? ::gives sad puppy eyes that would put the cutest thing in the world to shame, and make it die from embarrassment for not being able to attain that level of kawaiiness::   
  
~Aisling Kaiba~ 


	2. Chinese Fire Drill

A Yami's Guide to Driving Your Aibou Crazy  
  
(Aisling): *Sweetly* Oh, Bakura! Can you come here and do the disclaimer for me?  
  
(Bakura): No.  
  
(Aisling): Pwease? I wuv you!   
  
(Bakura): I said no, damn it!  
  
(Aisling): *pulls out secret weapon...the dreaded sad puppy eyes* Pleeeeeaaaassssee??????????  
  
(Bakura): I said NO...That's not going to work, Aisling...No...Well, I'll think about it...Maybe...Argh! All right, fine, I'll do it!! Argh!!!!! ::mutters darkly under his breath about strangling Aisling in her sleep:: Aisling does not own Yu-Gi-Oh, but any original characters belong to her. So don't sue her, or I shall be forced to send you foolish mortals to the Shadow Realm.  
  
(Ryou): Sheesh, what is it with you and your obsession with sending people to the Shadow Realm?  
  
(Aisling): *Steps in before an argument breaks out.* On with the ficcy!!!!  
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::Chapter two::  
  
Number 1: CHINESE FIRE DRILL!!!!!!! (A/N: I seriously want to do this to someone. I think it would be funny. Hai, I know I'm demented.)  
  
(This one is a classic prank to pull on anyone, especially a certain Aibou's uptight, personality-of-a-wet-mop twin brother.)  
  
Scenario: A midnight black corvette makes it's way down the streets of Domino City at breakneck speed. Iris is driving, Bakura is in the front passenger seat, and Aisling and Ryou are holding onto each other in the back. Iris finally stops at a red light, much to Aisling and Ryou's relief, and looks over at Bakura with an evil grin on her face and winks. Bakura nods, knowing what she has in mind.  
  
(Iris): CHINESE FIRE DRILL!!!!!!  
  
(Ryou and Aisling): Huh? What?  
  
(Bakura): Get out and run, damn it!  
  
(They all get out and run around the car once. Bakura and Iris get back in the car before Aisling and Ryou, locking both of their Hikaris out, and take off like a bat out of Hell.)  
  
(Ryou): HEY! COME BACK!  
  
(Aisling): I'm going to kill those two.  
  
(Aisling and Ryou get out of the street before the light turns green again and walk home, both intent on going psycho on their sadistic Yamis.)  
  
  
  
OK, here's the first chappie. Sorry it's so short, but my muse wasn't in a cooperative mood. ::Glances over at muse who looks suspiciously like Yami Bakura:: Like I said, this is my first YGO fic, so please don't be too hard on me. Oh, and here's wishing everyone a happy Thanksgiving! Please R&R!!!!  
~*Aisling Kaiba*~ 


	3. Whoopee Cushions

A Yami's Guide to Driving Your Aibou Crazy  
  
(Aisling): Well, here's another chappie!! ::Does patented happy dance::  
  
(Bakura): AAAHHH!!! My eyes! My eyes!! They burn!  
  
(Iris): ::Is laughing hysterically::  
  
(Aisling): You can be replaced, you know.  
  
(Everyone except Aisling): ::Classic anime fall::  
  
(Aisling): Except you, Ryou. Hey, since you love me so much, Ryou, can you do the disclaimer for me? Please? ::Sad puppy eyes::  
  
(Ryou): ::Resigned sigh:: I suppose so. Aisling does not own Yu-Gi-Oh, but any original characters are hers, as is the Millenium Star. So don't sue her.  
  
(Bakura): Anyone who tries to steal her Millenium Star is going to be in a world of hurts. No one, and I mean NO ONE is going to have it but me.  
  
(Aisling): Grrrr!!! ::Pulling her trusty Flying Frying Pan of Doom (A/N: The FFPOD is mine as well.) from out of nowhere, she calmly walks over to Bakura and whacks him on the head with it::  
  
(Bakura): ::Royally peeved:: ARGH! What in the seven Hells was *that* for, woman?!  
  
(Aisling): Don't you *dare* even *think* about stealing my Millenium Item, Baka, or *you'll* be the one who's in a world of hurts. And don't think about trying that 'sending us to the Shadow Realm' bit either, because it won't work.  
  
Ryou: ::Really big sweatdrop:: Us? What's this 'us' business, love?   
  
(A/N: In case you're wondering, Ryou and Aisling are a couple. Long story, and one I'll post later.)  
  
(Bakura): Grrrrrr!!! Fine. Don't you dare try to sue her. If you do, I'll send you foolish mortals to the Shadow Realm!! Mwa ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! ::insert evil laughter::  
  
(Aisling): Umm, Bakura? You do realize that you have major issues up the Yin-Yang, right?  
  
(Bakura): Hai.  
  
(Aisling and Ryou): ::Really really *BIG* sweatdrop::  
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::Chapter three::  
  
Number 2: Whoopee cushions  
(Yet another classic one, and one of my personal favorites.)  
  
Scenario: Seto is hosting a formal party. Iris and Bakura are utterly bored out of their immortal wits, and not at all happy that their Aibous have manipulated them into coming to this boring, snoozeville event. (A/N: No offense to any Kaiba fans out there, I like him too, but you have to admit, he sometimes has the personality of a wet mop. Besides, he's fun to torment. Please don't flame me, it's all just meant as a joke. ^__~) Suddenly Bakura gets an evil grin on his face and discreetly nudges Iris.  
  
(Bakura): Hey, Iris. Do you want to see something really funny?  
  
(Iris): Hai, sure. Anything to liven things up around here. These stuffy rich bakas are totally, fatally BORING!!!! I'm having so much fun right now, I think I'm going to die of boredom.  
  
(Bakura): *Grinning evilly* Look in the bag on the floor next to me.  
  
(Iris does so and grins evilly. She starts to laugh manaically like a rabid hyena and Bakura clamps a hand over her mouth, ignoring the strange looks that they are getting from the other guests. Iris is shaking almost uncontrollably with her suppressed laughter.)  
  
(Bakura): Damn it, woman. Calm down. The fun hasn't even started yet. Do your time-freezing bit and help me get these things inflated.  
  
(Iris): *Still giggling as Bakura moves his hand away* I don't think I want to know where you got that stuff.  
  
(Bakura): A tomb robber never reveals his secrets. Now, help me out here.  
  
(Iris nods and casts her time-freezing spell. Then she and Bakura start blowing up the fourty or so whoopee cushions that Bakura had somehow managed to smuggle in. They finally get the whoopee cushions blown up and them around the room strategically. They position each victim just right so that they will fall when the spell is lifted and will therefore create a very humorous domino effect.)  
  
(Bakura): *Putting one on Yami's chair* Mwa ha ha ha! Try to smooth-talk your way out of this one, Pharaoh.  
  
(Iris puts the last two "conveniently" under Aisling and Ryou, positioning them just like the others. The two Yamis give each other a high-five and go back to where they were sitting. Iris let's go of her time-freeze spell and various people fall over. A very, very loud, collective "Ppppppppppphhhhhhhttttt!!!!" is heard. Shouts of outrage echo throughout the large room, whilst the two giggling culprits make their getaway.  
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Okay, here's chapter three. Finally, right? LOL! Sorry about the long wait. Hopefully it'll be worth it, though. ::Glances over at my insane muses:: Please R&R! Or I'll sic an insane, drunk Pegasus on you. ::Shudders:: Oh, and any flames will be used to light fire to the demented pony. (I forget who referred to him as that, but I thought it was funny, so...yah.) Ja ne! (I think that's how it's spelled.) Laters!  
~Aisling Kaiba~ 


End file.
